How I thought I wanted to parent vs. How I am ACTUALLY parenting

Every week I say I’m going to update my blog, and every week I never do. Since it’s been 3 months since my last post, I figured instead of just an essay on how M is growing at a nice rate, his smiles and giggles are infectious and that I am his Mommy is the absolute best thing in the world to me, I’m going to write about how my perception of what parenthood means to me has changed.

topic one: breastfeeding
When I was pregnant, I was very adamant about breastfeeding. I had a positive outlook on it and knew it was something I wanted to do, hopefully for a full year. Thankfully, M and I had a good relationship with breastfeeding and all went well, he was gaining weight great and I was so happy I was able to do this. When I got back to work, the stress hit me hard. Trying to find time to pump at work, especially twice a day, was daunting. I was behind in work, I was working a new schedule and to be honest, pumping stressed me out. My supply was slowing starting to dwindle and at M’s 4 month appointment he hadn’t gained any weight. His pediatrician suggested I stop nursing and start him on formula.

J had already been doing half and half with M at home since there just wasn’t enough breast milk to feed this ever growing boy. I was heart broken, but agreed. I needed to do what was best for my son. I continued to pump once a day when I got home from work, but my supply plummeted in a week. There was no slow weaning for us, it took one week.

Thankfully, he’s been doing great on formula and he’s enjoying trying new baby foods. I have to look at the bright side of all this though. M & I had a great 4.5 months of nursing. He is such a healthy little boy and his big gummy smile shows me how happy he truly is. I am so blessed.

Next time…topic two: sleeping arrangements.

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